It Means Nothing
by reno-xxxXXXxxx
Summary: When Reno is locked outside his apartment with his partner, he gets to thinking... Yaoi, but nothing visual. Rated T for language and mentioned rape.


**A/N: **Damn, I wish they'd stop changing the fanfiction website!! Oh well... anyway, I know this story is a little out of the blue, and it's only a one-shot, but it's something I promised a good friend and I figured I ought to get it done. The title comes from the song from Stereophonics... the story has some sensitive stuff in it, so if ya don't like it, don't flame me. Please Review!

**It Means Nothing**

It was cold; thats the first thing Reno could remember about that night. The sharp wind whipped around his face, stinging his cheeks with it's harsh caress. He walked closer to the larger man next to him, shivering slightly, but trying not to let it show.

A shiver ran down the redhead's spine as the man next to him put his arm around him, obviously in an attempt to warm him up. It worked, but it made Reno feel extremely awkward.

"Rude..." he said. Half of him wanted Rude to let go, but half of him wanted him to hold on forever. After only a few seconds he let temptation take him.

"Hmm?" his bald partner looked down at him.

"Nothing." the redhead leaned into him as they walked down the dark, yet lamp-lit street.

They were on their way back from a particularly boring mission; acting as body-guards for the President. It was something Reno hated with a passion, but he guessed there was always pros and cons to any job, and being a Turk wasn't meant to be fun.

It was late Friday night, and the two Turks had the whole weekend to themselves; no work, nothing. It was a relief in a way; Reno was finding it difficult to concentrate on his work recently for some reason. He wondered vaguely if Rude had noticed; he prayed he hadn't. He didn't want to create a fuss after all; it wasn't as though he was particularly disliking his job, and working with Rude was the best thing he could ask for. He just hoped his strange frame of mind would fix itself soon enough.

Reno got to thinking as they made their way back to their apartment. He and Rude had been through a lot in the past few years, and the redhead actually felt extremely sorry for his partner sometimes. Reno hadn't exactly been an easy person to get along with for some time, but Rude had stuck by him every step of the way. It was the kind of friendship... well it was beyond friendship really. Reno loved him, but he found it incredibly difficult to express himself. He knew Rude loved him in return; not only from the fact that the bald man had told him, but only a true partner for life would put up with Reno for all that time. If only Reno could find it as easy as Rude to show him how much he meant to him.

With saying a word, the two Turk stopped walking and came to a standstill outside their door. Rude began silently searching in his pockets for his keys as Reno looked at his surroundings. Nothing ever changed in Midgar; although Reno was thankful he didn't live below the plate since joining the Turks. At least there was _some _breathable air.

"Umm... Reno?" Rude looked across to his partner with a concerned look on his face.

"What?" The redhead raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have your keys? Because I don't." The bald Turk said.

"Shit!" Reno stamped his foot on the ground. "I thought you had yours!"

"Reno... calm." Rude smiled slightly. "We'll just call Tseng and get him to come over and let us in."

"Aww... but that'll take ages. Ya know what Tseng's like." Reno complained.

It was true; Tseng always seemed to be busy when his employees needed him most. Rude would probably call him and let him know they were stuck, and Tseng would be there within the hour. A whole hour of standing outside in the freezing cold, doing nothing. And no offense to his partner, but Rude wasn't exactly the funnest person to pass the time with.

"Done." Reno shook himself out of his daydream and looked at Rude vaguely. The bald man smiled. "You're in a world of your own, aren't you? Tseng'll be here in an hour."

"Okay..." Just as Reno had suspected.

* * *

10 minutes; it'd only been 10 minutes, and already Reno was freezing. His legs were aching as well from standing for so long. Rude had given up on the standing and was no sitting on the floor, his back against the building's cold, hard wall.

"Come on, Reno. Sit down." Rude patted the cold ground beside him.

"No... I don't wanna." Reno pouted.  
"Why?"

"'Cause... it's uncomfortable."

Rude seemed to find this quite amusing, and put his legs down before patting them. "Come sit here."

"On your knee?" Reno raised an eyebrow. He had the feeling that his bald partner was completely taking the piss, but that lap looked extremely appealing. The redhead lowered himself onto his partners lap as Rude put his arm around him. It was extremely comfortable, and Reno felt a lot warmer as well.

"Aren't you freezin'?" The redhead asked. Rude was only wearing his shirt and his jacket; Reno was wearing two layers underneath his shirt, and he was still cold.

"Nope." Rude smiled and hugged Reno tighter.

"Are you takin' the piss?" Reno asked, looking up at Rude.

"No, course not..." Rude said quietly. With his large arm around him, Reno was starting to feel extremely small and childish, so he decided he wouldn't argue.

It was strange though, how Reno couldn't help but give off the impression that he hated the fact that Rude made him feel so small and helpless, when in fact he liked it. He didn't want appear so weak though, as to admit that when he was in Rude's arms, it was the only time he felt safe and secure.

There were a lot of things Rude could do to make Reno feel better; otherwise how would he have managed to get through the last few years.

There had been a time, like most people who had suffered in their lives, that Reno had been convinced he didn't deserve any help from anyone. That was why he hadn't told anyone about what he was doing; things were going fine at work, and that was all that mattered in Reno's eyes. But when Rude had caught him red-handed one day, Reno was scared; what would his partner do? It turned out he didn't do anything; he only gave Reno exactly what he wanted; a friend, someone he could talk to. He hadn't realized the usually stoic Turk could have a sensitive side.

He'd never told anyone except Rude what had happened to him when he was younger. It was difficult for anyone to go through, Reno had never had anyone to help him through it. When he was only 5 years old, he had witnessed his own mother's murder. His father had died before he was born, and his mother put herself out on the streets to earn enough to keep herself and her son alive. Things didn't go to plan though, after one of her customers came to find her, wanting more than just paid sex. Reno had been at home when it happened; a loud bang on the door was what started it all. Reno's mother's large, emerald eyes narrowed, and she hissed at her son to hide on the table. The little redheaded boy had done as he was told just at the back door was broken open.

Reno hadn't seen the man's face, only his legs from under the table. He had shouted at his mother; and from the sickening crack of bone on flesh, he'd hit her as well. Then, within about 10 minutes, he'd raped her, and killed her. It all happened so fast, and as Reno tried to stop the a gasp escaping from his lips, he reached over towards a knife on the floor. The scraping sound along the floor, although quiet, echoed through the silent kitchen, already tainted by the sound of death. The man had heard him, and looked under the table, a psychotic grin on his face. Reno wasted no time in lashing out at the man, and he couldn't remember to this day exactly where he had hit him with the knife; but the man scarpered, leaving Reno with his dead mother.

Sickening really, once Reno got to thinking about it. He didn't think about it much, and it didn't upset him anymore. What's passed is passed, was his motto, and there was nothing he could do about what had already happened. There was a time though, and it continued a long time after he'd joined the Turks, when he couldn't take the pain of spending his whole life alone. He'd done everything he could to try and ease it; drugs, alcohol, cutting himself... he'd even tried to take his own life more than once. That was why he'd joined the Turks; he knew that many men who joined ended up dead. So if Reno was going to waste his own life, he might as well go out doing something useful. It just so happened that he was damned good at his job, and he'd been lucky so far. Fortunately for him, he enjoyed it as well, which was one of the things that really picked him up and got him back on his feet.

But no, the main thing that had helped him was Rude. When he'd walked in on him that day, Reno had already pressed the cold, metal blade of the knife against the pale skin of his wrist. All he was going to do was open up yet another scar, but it seemed to help somehow. Reno had half-expected his bald partner to shout at him, but he didn't say a word. The look on his face was enough to say it though; Reno had always thought it was a look of disappointment, although Rude swore it was worry. The larger Turk had just walked silently over to Reno, taken the knife off him, and looked vaguely at him wrists, looking at the scars. It was the silence that did it; Reno couldn't help but break down in his partners arms. Rude put his arms around him and squeezed him. All the pain, all the sadness somehow seemed to vanish as though Rude had taken it all away. It was possibly then that Reno had fallen in love with him; or maybe that was just the point he had realized how much he valued Rude as a friend.

Now of course, he was much better. Rude hadn't mentioned the incident again, just given the redhead exactly what he needed; comfort. Reno began to value more things in his life, it was like Rude had shone a light into his life...

* * *

"Reno?" the redhead felt someone shaking him. "Wake up."

Reno opened his eyes to see a familiar raven-haired man standing above him.

"'Bout fuckin' time." Reno said yawning. "Where's the key?"

"Here." Tseng went to hand a single key to Reno. Before the redhead could take it however, he changed his mind and gave it to Rude instead. "Give it back to me tomorrow."  
"Sure thing." Reno muttered. He turned towards the door as Tseng left.

"You okay?" Rude asked as he unlocked the door.

"Yep." Reno smiled at his partner as he suddenly reached down and rubbed his leg.

"Reno? You're really bony." the bald man looked slightly pained before opening the door and entering, Reno in his tracks.

The redhead smiled as he closed the door behind them; all his life; his job... every single day he woke up, before laying back down to sleep in what seemed like no time at all... all of that would mean nothing, if it wasn't for Rude.

* * *

**A/N: **There ya go. I hope you enjoyed it, coz I enjoyed writing it. Please review and let me know what you think!


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